Technical Support

 

Dear Technical Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husbear 1.0. Since then I have noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower, and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husbear 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs such as Discoing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and MovieNight 6.1, and has installed new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight1.3, SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4, and ClutterEverywhere 4.5.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and when I try to force the application, it invariably crashes the entire system.

Under no circumstances can I get it to run HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husbear 1.0, but this all-purpose utility is of limited effectiveness.

Can you help, please?!!?

JoeCub

 

Technical Support's Response

Dear JoeCub:

This is a very common problem cubs complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husbear 1.0 with no idea that Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package. However, HusBear 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible.

Further, you cannot purge Husbear 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because HusBear 1.0 is not designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend 5.0 to emulate Husbear 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system, once installed.

Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as Husbear 1.0 has severely limited memory. Error messages are common, and a normal part of Husbear 1.0

In desperation to play some of their "old time" favorite applications, or to get new applications to work, some cubs have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or HusBear 2.0.

However, these cubs end up with more problems than encountered with Husbear 1.0. Look in your manual under "Warnings: Breakup/Division of Furniture". You will notice that this program runs very poorly, and comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3. I recommend you keep Husbear 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange and illogical system.

Having Husbear 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). This a wonderful feature of Husbear 1.0, secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part of the operating system.

Husbear 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of root cause. To activate this great feature enter the command "C:\THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME" Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command. Husbear 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.

TECH TIP! Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs, and ultimately YOU may have to give a C:\APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause Husbear 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet, Beer 6.0 Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes Husbear 1.0 to create FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly wave files that are very hard to delete.

Save yourself some trouble by following this tech tip Just remember! The system will run smoothly, and take the blame for all GPFs, but because of this fine feature it can only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0 ran.

Husbear 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Seduction 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction, these utilities can really help keep Husbear 1.0 running smoothly. After several years of use, Husbear 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many valuable embedded features such as FixesBrokenThings 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend 7.6.

A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install YourExLover 1.0. This is not a supported application, and will cause selective shut down of the operating system. Husbear 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until YourExLover 1.0 is uninstalled.

I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Husbear 1.0 and we here at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to fully enjoy this product!

Technical Support